Thursday, September 1

neutral

When you truly love somebody, you would want them to be happy, right? When you truly love someone, even the shortest leave of absence makes your heart tear into halves and quarters. When you truly love someone, you wouldn't care whatever their decision is, as long as they are happy. After all, what matters most is that they are happy.

But when you truly love somebody, sometimes you want them to hurt. Maybe as a lesson, sometimes just because you're selfish. When you truly love somebody, sometimes you want that goodbye to last a little longer, so you can piece the bits back together. When you truly love somebody, sometimes that decision isn't always the best and it hurts you and it hurts them. Sometimes, you just want them to hurt just a little bit more.

Where I stand, I want both of everything. It's not greedy - it's being open and standing on neutral ground. Subjective is subjective, but there's always a grey area. Everything overlaps into one another, and this is one of those situations.

I want you to be happy, but I want you to hurt so you'll appreciate happiness. I don't want you to say goodbye, but at the same time I want you to so that I will be able to say goodbye properly.

Can we say goodbye properly? Please?

2 hits:

CreativeBitchin said...

if you truly love somebody, but you want them to hurt as you do, or as a lesson, and you wound them...

sometimes it backfires on you. as you watch them flounder and struggle with the damage you have inflicted on them...

your heart rips right back open in sympathetic pain.

true story from one who was once brilliant engineer of spiteful revenge. never calculated the injury it would wreak on me too.

joash said...

:(

i think i've wreaked enough injury on myself, haha. and i thought i wasn't sadistic.