2010.

1:27am, and it's 31/12/10.

That's it people, a whole year has gone past. Thinking back, it's been ...crazy. In a nutshell, life went like this:

• I started slacking at school. BAD BAD IDEA
• Went k-box, and loved it!
• Travelled to Singapore all by myself
• Found out that a few people aren't so bad :)
• Went to KL with the family.
• Loved and lost.
• Got a graphics tablet (oh yeah baby)
• Started working!
• Daddy got a little car for me to drive around with (sorta)
• Got back into RPing. (not the sexual kind, loves)
• GOT FRIGGIN' TIPSSSYYYYY.
• Wore more make-up. :D

And yeah, kinda countless others that for some reason I CANNOT REMEMBER. :')

Funny how this year went by so fast. I secretly think it was the fact that I was so busy, I had no time to count the hours like how I used to. But it's been a fast year - and that scares me because will I never have time to stop and savour the moment? Will it just keep on moving faster and faster until one day, when I look back, I just go "WOW? THIS HAPPENED?"

Mr. R -- I don't know when I'll find someone who can compare to you, even if we never had anything. But I have hope for that new person.

Everyone else - THANK YOU FOR THIS YEAR. Without you all, this year would've been worthless.

This ends 2010's chapter, and tomorrow marks a whole new book.

can't be tamed.

In my life, I've never been able to make a proper choice. For example, I want to do design, but I can't choose what kind of design. Fashion, graphic, interior... I want to do them all. Same goes for music - I cannot classify which sort of genre am I in. I'm not a classical pianist, neither a jazz nor pop pianist.

I'm probably the most undefinable person in the world.

:/

Went out for supper (more like a gathering) and saw the ex-crush. Erm. Okay. I think I've made a point (as immature as it may seem) but ... I really couldn't care less.

change.

This world is seriously full of surprises. Have been going out with Darren for the past few days. He's introduced me to his world, and I quite like it. I never thought I'd be going out with him? I always thought that it would be weird or just not right, or whatever. But I think the biggest lesson I've learnt is that to always be out there.

You don't always have to straightaway trust people, nor do you have to instantly be "best friends" with them. But you should always give them a chance. I remember I was telling Christine about it, and she was telling me: "You should at least give it a go."

I'm happy that I listened. I've not regretted anything so far.

I'm generally happy now. Yay, yay, yay. :)

cuci mata.

I miss KL and all the boys. XD I got to cuci mata so many times. I stared, so rude of me. Haha.

Genting was pretty nice. Loved the cold weather there while walking, did not want while sleeping and waking up and showering. Fuck me, even with hot water, it was so cold after opening shower doors that I felt like just crawling back in and turn on the hot water again. XD

Some bitch at the GICC sale thing was so ugh. Cause I was standing near the cashier with my arms folded and looking like a bitch (cause I got annoyed) and then she said very loudly to her friends: "Like got supervisor watching me work!" When I heard that, I felt like walking over and slapping her. Of course watch how you work lor, if not, look at your ugly vagina face? *spit*

:D

Then it was down to Sunway. I LOVE SUNWAY PYRAMID (even though I got lost so many times, fuck) and I love Sunway Lagoon. Omfg. Hot Taiwanese/China boy with the hot body and Taeyang hair. And the hot guy in the toilet. XD Haha, sorry, couldn't resist staring. XD And and and and and! There was a hot guy that was walking to the Surf Beach. His body was WOW. Can someone say GYM BUFF? :D

Then it was down to City. I hate Sungei Wang, so bloody confusing man! Pavilion is awesome.

That was KL. :D

fleeting.

How much longer are we going to ignore that there's stuff between us that should be cleared straightaway? Just because you're not willing to talk about it, doesn't mean that there isn't anything to talk about. Because things will surface, regardless of how long they've been kept under. I've held on for so long, and I'm not about to let go so easily, but it seems like it's your intention to do so.

I would let go, after a while. But I'd want you to talk about things first.

I'm not a fan of hearing my own voice - therefore, when we have a conversation, I expect you to update me about things. That's why it's called a conversation, not a monologue.

:)

On other things, there's this one guy who's been trying to pikat me. And he's not someone I would go for, honestly. But I'm willing to be friends first. But seriously... where is the chivalry and everything, man? I highly doubt that just because you're not British that you completely lose all sense of 'dating'. Like ... I don't expect a Porsche and waiting at my doorstep with flowers because honestly, as sweet as it is, that's nauseating and creepy. Because how the fuck did you get here? I NEVER TOLD YOU MY ADDRESS, DUN DUN DUN.

I'm not looking for sex. Sex will/might/is a part of an equation, but we've got a long way to solving it.

All I expect is at least the decency to start slow, instead of jumping straight into sex. No, I'm not a prostitute or a whore. Maybe when I've lost all meaning to the 'first time' then I will act like one, but as of now, no. All I expect is that you at least take me out to know me, bother to work around me and find a way that things might work out for the both of us, take me to a movie, dinner, whatever. Something that we could build on, instead of just jumping off a plane without a parachute.

I've pretty much given up on finding guys. I think that the whole "wait and it'll come" principle applies here. That, or I'm blind.

But lesson to guys who want to take a girl/guy out on a date: Don't start your courtship with "Hey, can we have sex?" unless they're a nymphomaniac. Sluts/whores/prostitutes do not count because you don't ask, you buy and they're pretty much available, so courting is out of the question. Start slow, and you'll get sex one way or another, in a more meaningful way. :) Decency, people. ;)

bad wolf

Something an online friend of mine posted on her Livejournal:

this is how i feel, all written out.