I still can't get over Daul Kim's death. I'm still in shock. :(

That just makes me sad. Everything's just piling on now and I'm just wondering what else will before the camel's back breaks...

first love

There is no end to this circle. It's an ever continuing loop. Life goes on, even after your favorite supermodel commits suicide.

I'm confuseddddd. and stuck in motion.

Ignore the rambles; I'm currently not in a very good frame of mind.

Such an inspiration.

RIP DAUL KIM. You'll forever be my Asian model. One day, I'll meet you up there. And we're going to blow them all away. ;)

But now I'm so fucking annoyed. Made plans to study with Amal in campus today, at 1pm. I messaged my mum at 7.03am, ample time for her to plan whatever. And then she msged me saying that she has lunch appointment, might be a bit late. Fine. 1pm is a bit rushed anyway.

It's 4.05pm and I texted her a few minutes ago asking her when exactly does she want to send me to campus. And she replied with this: Oh gosh. So late already, still want to go?

Am really fucking pissed off now. So I have to cancel everything. And then my group member hasn't emailed me the rationale for our design studies which she said she would YESTERDAY. Excuses je la, I'm really in an irritable mood now. So whatever la. And since I'm not going to campus anymore, what the fuck am I going to do to occupy my time now?

I can't use the computer at night now, since I've already used it now. Studying only takes this much time. I hate, hate, HATE this. fuck everything. -_-'

Had Media, Culture & Society 2 exam today. Was quite easy. Surprisingly, managed to answer most of the objective questions and the essay. I hated the True/False section. Because its like, they all look synonymous to me! Except certain questions.

Then after that, went to makan. Then hang around campus. Then followed Amal to send her mum to airport, then watch movie!

We watched 2012. I mainly wanted to watch the movie because I saw the trailer, and I loved the graphics. So awesome, the rendering and whatever technical stuff (attempt to come off graphically inclined - FAIL) but yeah. I'm just lucky that it wasn't like a 3D movie or something. THAT would be scary. My heart was pumping like mad in certain scenes, so can you imagine if it were 3D?

Heart attack. -_-'

My opinions on the movie? I think, well, they are kind of preparing us for it if it does happen. But I also think that if we reached 2012, and the exact date or whatever 20-12-12, and it didn't happen, mass chaos would happen. But scary! Ignore my opinions, am not really able to think straight now.

Today was a GOOD day. Saw the crush twice, even though it feels kind of like whenever I do see the crush, I'm being made fun of or something. Whatever. Then was really, really close with someone :) Ah... SUK!~

My life is best when running on 5 hours of sleep. The first time.

I am so in love with my new magazines. I finally managed to go and get some. I was hunting up and down for FEMALE mag (MPH don't have! WTF?) and ended up buying November's issue of CLEO and the OCT/NOV issue of HairNow. and omg. OMG.

i love the hair styles in that. Like, I don't have to search online anymore! I can just look at that lovely issue. Even if its all girl hair, whatever! I still can look :D And its awesome. But it makes me crave for a hell lot of things.

Like pink hair. Red hair. Copper hair. Blue hair. BLONDE hair. FML. :)

I'm very much confused with where I'm heading. In terms of where my heart wants to go. And er, not in the medical sense either. Its like, I'm so confused whether or not I should continue with this. I mean, I think my crush already has a gerek. :(

A somebody. A somebody who will be receiving all of the attention. All of the care. All of the things in my head that I want. (nothing carnally pleasurable. maybe) It's a horrible feeling to feel. Especially after you feel so strongly about somebody, and find out that he or she -may- already have somebody else.

I trust my gut instincts. I always trust them when it comes to things concerning things. But my 'divination' (hah, I sound like Trelawney!) is always very cloudy when it comes to things concerning me. Which is annoying! Mostly about love and all, but still.

I think I'm afraid. Afraid of the consequences. I think too much of the big picture. I think way too far ahead. Instead of taking tiny steps, I take giant leaps. Like instead of thinking, "Oh. What will happen in the next five minutes, the next hour?" I'm already at 3 months ahead. :( And not only that, its like I tell myself: "Let go." But a tiny bit of me is just saying: "Just hold on a while. What if you were wrong?"

The fatal two words;- "WHAT IF."

I hate the way I think sometimes.

[...]

I want a beach photoshoot. Like seriously. So funny, all 3 cycles of NTM have had beach shoots. All in dresses.

Here is a banner I made with my 3 favorite pics for the latest episode of ANTM.

*Erin = blonde, Nicole = redhead.